17/05/2023 - Rachel Elitzur’s concise but intense second feature-length documentary digs into the contradictory regulations governing ultra-Orthodox Jewish marriage

In a world where pornography is instantly at our fingertips and more accessible than ever, it's hard to believe that when their wedding comes around, adults can still believe that children are made through one’s belly button. However, such a phenomenon does not seem to be uncommon within the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community, where marriage occurs under society’s watchful control and sex education remains taboo right up until the big day, when special “counsellors” advise the brides and grooms on “how to do it”. Drawing on her own experience, Israeli filmmaker Rachel Elitzur unveils peculiar details surrounding these very personal matters in her latest documentary, Wedding Night, which is currently locking horns in Docaviv’s Beyond the Screen Competition. Elitzur, who belongs to this strictly religious community herself, has already tackled the topic in her feature debut, Covered Up, by openly discussing the issues following her own failed marriage. Wedding Night takes one step further towards an insightful understanding of all stages of the ritual: from the matchmaking and counselling to the clumsy wedding-night adventures which form the culmination of the film.

The opening sequence reveals how the doc itself was cast – actors are needed to illustrate the real-life testimonies of husbands and wives who went through the complex process of getting married, in order to protect their identities. Later on, as the film develops, one realises how much this narrative approach aligns with the general concept of ultra-Orthodox Jewish marriage, where no one involved represents who they really are or behaves according to their true personality. Spouses play pre-determined roles, and there’s a whole arsenal of established regulations and benevolent people who oversee proper entry into marriage and make sure that everyone acts accordingly. Contrary to the chastity that young people must maintain before meeting their future significant other, the emphasis in the wedding ceremony is placed on carnal initiation. Sexual intercourse has to take place on this first night, regardless of the fact that it could happen shrouded in fear, disgust, humiliation, or sometimes even take the form of unintended rape. For most of the participants, it feels like a punishment – we learn these details from the stories they share with their real voices, while the selected actors interpret the idealised image of the wedding.

What is deserving of respect in Elitzur’s approach to this extremely intimate topic (both for her community and for the testimonial providers) is that even though her critical view of the traditional notions and rituals disclosed is clearly present, they are not exposed simply to be condemned, but rather to be discussed. Her film certainly fosters an in-depth debate about the purpose of all this public surveillance of private lives on the one hand, while on the other suggesting relevant answers to why the institution of marriage has a hard time surviving in secular societies. One can only hope for a third documentary by the same auteur about the morals and manners of her unusual community, which might turn out to be more eye-opening for wider audiences than expected.

Wedding Night was produced by Israel’s Pardes Production.