The Berlinale Forum title If Pigeons Turned to Gold [+lee también:
crítica
entrevista: Pepa Lubojacki
ficha de la película] is a family affair. In it, Pepa Lubojacki takes a look at their older brother David, unhoused and struggling with alcoholism, as well as their parents. Generations clash as they wonder about the roots of addiction – and learn how to change the pattern.

Cineuropa: I remember when you presented the film as a work in progress and talked about its honesty. But it can be hard to be honest about someone you know so well, right?
Pepa Lubojacki: It still is. Back then, I said I would be honest, but I didn’t know what that would mean. I need to accept that the film exists this way. Initially, I wasn’t supposed to be in it, but I couldn’t hide behind the camera. I’m revealing some very vulnerable moments involving my family members. The story is about breaking cycles, so I needed to be involved. I still don’t know if this film is the best or the worst idea of my life. But my brother saw it, and his reaction helped me.

You play with old photos and AI. Suddenly, you are kids again, wondering what went wrong. Why did you want to add something like this?
It really reflects my way of thinking; I like this playful stuff. The topic is serious, but I never wanted to make a depressing, dark movie. The pigeon is a funny storyteller, and it lightens the story instead of making it sound pathetic. I guess I just followed what my brain said.

When I started using it, AI actually wasn’t that widespread. It didn’t really exist in the public domain at that time. I was inspired by MyHeritage, a website dedicated to family trees. You can create short clips from photographs of your family members. I made one with my late father, and it was extremely impactful. It made me cry. I don’t have any video footage of him, and suddenly, I could see him moving.

Also, I didn’t want a heavy voice-over. Now, it’s still me, but I wanted these people in the photos to know more than they did back then. They talk about the science behind addiction and what happens in the brain. Obviously, no one knew that before. I found this clash interesting because you see innocent children talking about serious topics. AI is everywhere now, but I still think that, when used right, it can have healing potential. These photographs say things that my parents never said to me, and it helped me heal some old wounds.

When you told your brother you wanted to make the film, what was your initial idea?
We weren’t talking about “breaking the cycle”, because I didn’t have that language back then. I was angry. It really started with anger because I experienced systemic injustice firsthand. I saw how the police and medical personnel treated my brother and cousin – just because they are addicted or unhoused. It’s also about the lack of compassion. I believe that people are good, yet I’ve seen them just pass by someone unhoused so many times. I always try to make sure they are conscious and see if they need help. Then, I keep on walking. This happened to my cousin. He was lying on a bench for almost a week, and no one helped him.

It's so hard to get help. If you want to go to rehab, you have to wait a really long time. My initial motivation was to show people like my brother and cousin through my eyes, through love and through their life stories. I wanted to show the complexity of it all.

He’s struggling and so are you – you’re trying to help, and it’s not working. Many people reach that point, wondering: “Should I continue or should I save myself?”
Objectively, maybe I’m managing my life better. I’ve learnt some coping mechanisms. However, I wanted us to feel equal here. I’ve been thinking about the ethics of this film because documentaries tend to struggle with it. Showing my own vulnerability and talking about things I’ve never talked about helped. I know many people with an addict in their family, and they don’t like to talk about it, because they feel ashamed. I realised it’s wrong to feel shame for someone else. I used to be ashamed of my brother, and looking back, I feel bad about it. It’s just so selfish.

You also found some time to show the good moments, though.
That way, it doesn’t seem like I just showed up with a camera to document misery. I have fun with my brother, and our story doesn’t focus solely on the addiction. It’s about love and how things can sometimes turn out badly, even when you don’t want them to. It was a very difficult process, but I’ve never had a better relationship with my brother than I do now. We tell each other that we love each other. We didn’t use to do that. I stopped blaming him. I understand why he behaves the way he does.

Addiction seriously affects your brain. It limits your ability to make simple decisions. My brother takes half an hour to decide what pizza he wants. People like him feel stuck. For the longest time, I really believed I would find a solution, but it’s not actually up to me. I’m responsible for my own life, and I need to set boundaries, but he knows I will be there for him when he needs me. I make sure to tell him that often so he doesn’t forget.